Whenever I’m looking forward to watching a certain movie or TV show, no matter how much I’d like to watch it with my mom, I always know it’s a bad idea. Not only does she talk to the screen during crucial you-better-hear-this-or-nothing-will-make-sense moments, but she also calls out the plot before they’ve ever shown it. I GET that most things are predictable, but I do not need to hear, “SHE KILLED HIM! SHE WAS THE ONE!” when I’m so fully captivated by the action on the screen.
Oh, and if there’s a climatic romantic moment that is the culmination of two hours (or two seasons) of sexual tension, my mom will ruin it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. While I’m holding back tears, imagining myself in place of the female heroine and watching the movie with the intensity of a thousand suns, this will be my mom:
“Okay, okay, just kiss her already Darcy! You’ve stringed me along long enough!”
“FINALLY! They have been dragging this out for two seasons!”
I cannot even begin to describe HOW MUCH THIS INFURIATES ME! MOM, SHUT UP! I’m trying to watch and I’m so fully invested and YES THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A MAKE BELIEVE STORY TO ME AND WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ME!